LLD101

dragonfire_god · Posted: Wed Dec 12, 2007 2:18 am Post subject:

A young couple were married and they were having sex all the time during their honeymoon.

When the honeymoon was over they had to adjust their sex schedule to their work schedule. So every day the husband would get home at 5 o'clock, and every day they would go to bed at 5:15.

This went on for months, never missing a day until the wife came down with the flu and went to the doctor to get a flu shot.

The shot killed all the germs inside her except for three. These three germs were huddled together inside her body talking over their survival plans.

One germ said, "I am going to hide between two toes on her left foot. I don't think the antibiotics will find me there".

A second exclaimed, "I am going to hide behind her right ear. I don't think they'll find me there."

The last germ said, "I don't know about you guys, but when that 5:15 pulls out tonight, I'm gonna be on it!"

Weaj · Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 7:55 pm Post subject:

Nursery Rhymes we DIDN'T have as kids...

Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

********************

Mary had a little lamb.
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two chunks of bread.

********************

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

********************

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man,
'What have you got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon,
'Pies, you dumb ass'

********************

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings' horses,
And all the kings' men.
Had scrambled eggs,
For breakfast again.

********************

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay.

********************

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

Knifer · Posted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 8:46 pm Post subject:

rofl the georgie porgy one cracked me up

Goky · Joined: 18 Feb 2006 Posts: 1425 1.68 Silvarrr

Have you guys been keeping up with the news lately? I heard corduroy pillows have really been making headlines.

Mr_Bilson · Joined: 25 Dec 2005 Posts: 257 0.00 Silvarrr