LLD101

[zarc]

Well, as a relatively well established poet in the area, I write a lot of poetry (Go figure). I was wondering if anyone else writes poetry here or would be willing to critique some of my writings. Even if you think my poems/lyrics are lame tell me, I like to hear what I can do better.

Here is the first one, its called "My Apocalyptic Consumption"

Upon my soul
There are too many eyes
Within this hole
Buried too many lives

The serpentine compulsion
The existential diety.
Harken to my word
my name shall be the way
set down the stone
in its resting place.
Dig the ditch,
Inhabit its womb.

Worms, worms
shall be your dinner party guest
Consuming the shell
to lay in hollowed chests.
Beneath the cacophony
exhume the undying harbinger.
But where has he gone?
Do you still seek the carpenter?

Expel the waste
disuse your coin and note.
Tear down the walls,
let in the flood of
my apocalyptic consumption.

[Goky]

The dances of prancing bunnies
A spectrum of color in the Air
Butterflies, fluttering without care
where da steele reserve at?

[zarc]

ahaha, that was freakin awesome.

[Mimes]

im not a big fan of poetry, nor am i a poetry critic, so dont take my word for it. I thought it was pretty good....nothing spectacular. This might have been in part due to my hiccups... which are making me angry.

[zarc]

Poem for my "friends"


Feign interest in me not,
If for only your own benefactor
I am your representative
of truth.
For my lamentation are truth.
And from the depths of my soul
I speak death upon you all.
All who have left in my stead.
All who have shamed me.
All who have besmirched my name.

You infect yourself with a foul disease.
It is your avarice
Your passion
Your malice and hatred.
You're corrupted.
The poisoned mind of a poor slave,
to a powerful lord,
shall bring
its own vengeance upon you.

All that you love is yourself
and so shall you be
with all that you love
in your final hour.

Harken unto my word,
and let the conclusions
not surprise you when
your departure is nigh.
For you are the coroner
You are the gravedigger,
the eulogist, the pallbearer.
You etch your own name
in the very stone
to be placed above your head.

[Meegz ?]

There once was a man from Nantucket...


You fill in the rest, make it rhyme however you please, and you have seen my interest in poetry.

Mainly posted here for the shout-out on steel reserve. Last time I had that was a good night...strip-poker when the women out-number the men 3-1.





And the +1 ofc

[lld_newb]

i like the dark warrior type stuff. Brutal 4 life

[Entreri]

I write a bit myself, have trouble writing anything that rhymes and still has any meaning to it though. Usually it doesn't end up being poetry at all, just what I'm thinking about at the time being vomited onto my keyboard or paper... I might post something later on today.

[Hades]

I like your 2nd poem better Fyar.
Ever try making poems with longer average verse? I usually preffer those.

[Edit: just wrote this now for fun]

The shadows flicker, the room is dark
Within my soul no angels hark
the fire whittles, the coals are red
Upon my arms I rest my head.

The reverly gone, the time is near,
the mess surrounds me, my eyes unclear.
my stomach queasy, my head does ache
I close my eyes and try to wake.

I stumble over the corpse strewn field,
The bathroom door, it just wont yield.
Evading shards of broken glass,
I shuffle past some KO'd lass.

Upon the stairs I begin to crawl,
needing to support myself against the wall.
To tired and to weak
To my bedroom I do seek,

Collapsing onto my beloved bed,
I cannot move, I'm as good as dead,
I think to myself this is the last,
My partying days are now in the past.

And as I watch the cieling spin
I know inside I cannot win
I must be a sucker to this pain
For tomorrow night it begins again.



I shall call it: The Hangover.

[zarc]

[Mr_Bilson]